7
posts
in Music
in Music
March 13, 2016
Parody Song
Lyrics
A-well, we walked on over from the university,
Got a blister along the way
There’s a political speaker at some right-winger rally
Don’t wanna hear what he’s got to say
And it’s hard
Oh, it’s hard
You gotta go so far to show you’ll tolerate
Everyone
And anyone
You gotta scream so loud to shout down the hate
Well, that guy was so persuasive with his facts and polite tones
If they hear him, folks might think he’s got a clue
That’s why we’ll silence them all (and make them pay our student loans)
When the foot is in the other shoe
And it’s hard
Oh, it’s hard
Collecting signatures to make divestment fate
For anyone
We wanna shun
You gotta scream so loud to shout down the hate
So now we’re back on campus, chilling in our own safe space
Being affirmed via wireless network
But it’s so exhausting fixin’ up the human race
Glad the dean gives extensions for homework
‘Cause it’s hard
Oh, it’s hard
When we’re so perfect now, but still we have to wait
For everyone
To say we’ve won
And until they do, we’ll shout down the hate
December 11, 2015
Parody Song
Hey, Tony (Defeat of the Dancing Cop)
Lyrics
Hey, Tony
It’s nothing personal
But we gotta take you out
There ain’t two ways about it
Now, Tony
You’ve done a lot of good
But you shoulda kept your mouth closed
Can’t you see which way the wind blows?
All the kids you’ve entertained will miss you
And all the tickets you just let go, we’ll issue
The times are changing
It’s crazy
How fast the rules can change
When just a hashtag on a cup
Becomes an Ocean State setup
Now, Tony,
They’re gonna hunt you down
That affirmative action queen
And ambitious progressive teen
It’s not like this is some kind of vendetta
You’re just caught up in the president’s agenda
And the narrative is changing.
Hey, icon
It’s all real simple now
Black Lives Matters can just defeat
All of your dance moves on the street
Yeah, Tony
You thought it’d be old age
But it’s crybullies who will stop
The beat of the Dancing Cop
There’s not a mayor who’ll save our Christmas this time
‘Tis the season to prosecute your thought crime
And the climate is changing
Hey, Tony
It’s nothing personal
But we gotta take you out
November 9, 2015
Parody Song
Seventeen Tolls
Lyrics
One study says RhodeWorks would pay for itself
Another one says there ain’t no projects on the shelf
Nobody’s sure just what the DOT does
But we need truck tolls now… just because
You pay 17 tolls, and what do you get
A phony quasi-public half-a-billion in debt
St. Gina don’t you call me ’cause Mapquest’s sure
I’d cut my trip on Route 84
There’s more than one way to pay off a road
By cutting your spending or by the truckload
A private partner could mitigate risk
But when the speaker hears that, he says “tsk, tsk, tsk”
You pay 17 tolls, and what do you get
A phony quasi-public half-a-billion in debt
St. Gina don’t you call me ’cause Mapquest’s sure
I’d cut my trip on Route 84
A revenue bond would make investors sing
They get paid interest like it’s not a sure thing
But if something goes wrong, Wall Street ain’t stuck with the bill
If the truckers don’t pay it, then the taxpayers will
They pay 17 tolls, and what do you get
A phony quasi-public half-a-billion in debt
St. Gina don’t you call me ’cause Mapquest’s sure
I’d cut my trip on Route 84
The upside’s ten years of union work
But the governor knows that unions shirk
It’s a political rule, don’t be afraid of the crash
If the airbag’s filled with campaign cash
You pay 17 tolls, and what do you get
A phony quasi-public half-a-billion in debt
St. Gina don’t you call me ’cause Mapquest’s sure
I’d cut my trip on Route 84
November 3, 2015
Parody Song
Pale People
Lyrics
Pale people got white privilege
Pale people got white privilege
Pale people got white privilege
These days
They say we can’t see it
But they know it’s there
We got to talk about it
Just to show we care
If you got pink cheeks
Around a slender little nose
You get a silver spoon
It’s just the way it goes
Well, I don’t want no white privilege
Don’t want no white privilege
Don’t want no white privilege
‘Round here
“White privilege” is just a phrase to signify
That you’re superior
To other whites who think they’ve had to strive
But that’s just more proof
Pale people got no grievance
Pale people got no grievance
Pale people got no grievance
That counts
Could be disabled
Mom and dad might be drunks
And all the gatekeepers
Treat you like a leaky skunk
You mighta grown up poor
Your face is ugly as sin
All a’ that ain’t nothin’
To the color of your skin
It don’t matter what
You think you’ve overcome
Don’cha take credit
For the things you’ve done
‘Cause I don’t want no white privilege
Don’t want no white privilege
Don’t want no white privilege
‘Round here
March 21, 2015
Parody Song
Blank Check
Lyrics
Welcome home, where you been?
Winter here has been so long
Leaving this house is a sin
See it here, and we think:
“Golly gee, look at this place
That assessment’s a disgrace”
Taxing games can fix that mistake… ache
You are only here part time
You don’t feed our appetite
When you hear the door chime
We’ll take a look inside
It’s not unfair, it’s worth a shot
Like gambling houses and legalized pot
Grab your check book, that’s a start
Finding new cash is a politician’s true art
Our budget’s in the billions, as in millions with a “b”
We may not educate your childrens, but your house is by the sea
Ask any economist, he’ll tell you we’re insane
But you know we love taxpayers, like hunters love game
Cause our spending is reckless, we’ll tax you to the sky
And our legal system’s feckless, though our expats don’t know why
Ask any economist, she’ll tell you we’re insane
But we’ve got a blank check, baby, and we’ll sign your name
It’s a privilege, can’t you see
To have this perfect paradise
In the bill, on line twenty,
“Non-owner occupied”
Owning land is a franchise
You will profit when someone buys
We let you keep it, it’s not a right… oh, wait
Average people own land, too
Why let those leeches off the hook?
They won’t pay as much as you
But there are more of them
What a treasure we have found
A money tree built on the ground
More will come when your group leaves
Town council nightmare’s the governor’s daydream
Our budget’s in the billions, as in millions with a “b”
We may not educate your childrens, but your house is by the sea
Ask any economist, he’ll tell you we’re insane
But you know we love taxpayers, like hunters love game
Cause our spending is reckless, we’ll tax you to the sky
And our legal system’s feckless, though our expats don’t know why
Ask any economist, she’ll tell you we’re insane
But we’ve got a blank check, baby, and we’ll sign your name
Rhode Island’s done this since Berlin’s fall
You saw the writing on the wall
Rhode Island’s done this since Berlin’s fall
You saw the writing on the wall
February 27, 2015
Parody Song
RI’s Economic Development Shuffle
Lyrics
Well, Gina, she called me, just the other day
She’s our new Wall Street gov’nor, so I heard what she had to say
She said, “I need you to set Rhode Island right.”
So we made a few plans,
And shook a whole bunch of hands,
And the hors d’oevres were dynomite.
We’re good, y’see,
My friends and me,
We’ll develop the economy.
We all know Rhode Island should grow at a faster pace,
But we paid our dues, man, and we don’t want to have to race.
The good news is, there’s a central planning bus.
So we’ll call all our old schemes new,
And tilt the board more for just us few,
And pray the state will outlive us.
Don’t need everybody.
My friends and me,
We’ll develop the economy.
Each gear has to fit:
Government, business, welfare advocate.
It’s a fine machine; don’t mess with it.
Not just talking pride.
We’re all safe inside.
If we go opening doors, where will we hide?
They say that a mind’s a terrible thing to waste
I’m not one to argue, long as they’re molded to my taste.
My business model, see, it’s got specific needs.
Don’t care if they’re white or brown,
Long as they keep my expenses down,
And the K-12 grows them up like weeds.
When wages freeze,
My friends and me,
We’ll develop the economy.
We’re the leaders who lead,
My friends and me,
We’re developing the economy.
February 2, 2015
Parody Song
PolitiFact Can
Lyrics
Who could take a true thing
Sprinkle it with spin
Cover it with context ’till the truth is wearing thin?
PolitiFact. PolitiFact can.
PolitiFact can because they write it like it’s news
And make the bias sound good.
Who can take a fact check
Put it to a vote
Help out politicians who are rowing the same boat?
PolitiFact. PolitiFact can.
PolitiFact can because they write it like it’s news
And make the bias sound good.
Those reporters pick ev’ry little trick
From pedantry to omission
You could say it’s just their mission
We all know they’re really always out there fishin’
Who can troll on Twitter
For Sunday’s front-page spread,
Make you think their beat is building talking points instead?
PolitiFact. PolitiFact can.
PolitiFact can because they write it like it’s news
And make the bias sound good,
And the bias sounds good because the media thinks it should.